Grace to Grace

It’s Easter today. March 27, 2016. The time for us celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who took all of our burdens, sins, and shame, up to the cross and died up there. We have been renewed; we will have new life ahead, new life in Jesus, whose grace introduced the new way of life. Okay, it’s quite a background. Moving along.

Apart from the images we posted on Path and Instagram, saying how grateful we are, and how we promised to leave our old way of living, actually I felt pretty insecure. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s kind of a poor gambling Jesus did, to give away His life for us. Which I would never do, gamble my own life on something or someone I am not sure about. How can Jesus be sure about us, the tricksters and sinners of us. No way.

Yes, He is Jesus, and we are human, the infinite versus the finite. The all of all versus the bullshit we are. To save our time thinking about this, we often include the word ‘Grace’ to describe all of this we are clueless about. But really, haven’t you, even just for once thinking how can He be willing to do all of that? Be open to me. I’ve been thinking about that for a long time now, on how wasteful His sacrifice for me, the hopeless yet hopeful, faithful yet faithless, the dirty-thinker of me. Yes, I know and very aware of how big it is, yet I don’t think I can live up the expectation here.

Yet, He still did it. And He does it again today. For the second consecutive years of me being Christian, and still that thought lingered. But, He doesn’t care, He still does it. No matter how hard I doubt myself and Him, He still did, does, and will do it again and again. Okay, let’s just say my mind’s path is blocked by a gigantic wall hundred metres high, and I can’t get past that. My brain has not reached a point where it could form a thought that could adequately describe the greatness of my God, quoting Mr. Isaac Wimberley on his great poem “The Word”. And should I keep trying?

Now I think I should flip the way I think, from “How could He do it for me?” to “How can I return the grace I received?” Yes, it is grace. I don’t mean to save my time I’ve been wasting to think about this, but I think I’ve discovered a new understanding of grace. I’ll just put it that way.

Then, I think again. Our position with Jesus is already defined. At least in my understanding, Jesus stands there as a giver, and we bow down here asking, as a receiver. Please enlighten me if you guys think of something. I could never imagine us giving back to Jesus, with our worldly things. The best we could give is our weekly offering and tithe. Is it enough to repay? Jesus gave His life on the cross, and graced us wholeheartedly, and we give back with money? I can’t even make any sense of this.

But, we can stand here also, as a giver, to others. We can serve, as Jesus did in His lifetime. Serving others with the grace we received, I think that’s the goal we should pursue. It’s not giving back to Him, but to pay it forward to others.

1 Peter 4:10-11 MSG

7-11 Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God’s words; if help, let it be God’s hearty help. That way, God’s bright presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and he’ll get all the credit as the One mighty in everything—encores to the end of time. Oh, yes!

To conclude all my less-biblical murmur here, let’s just don’t think how grand His sacrifice for us and be insecure. Let’s just think about what can we do for others so the name of God be glorified and we can walk from grace to grace.