Sunday, February 17, 2019

How to struggle right

In this nowadays society, having something to struggle on and about may seem overwhelming and intimidating. We all strive for safe sail, calm wind and a little tide for our “calming noise” at bedtime. Tonight, I will share something which has been bothering my mind since the start of the week. So, let’s begin.

Imagine a scenario where there are 2 people agree to commit to each other, but they are way too far apart. They both are very sure about the future together, and decided to sail on within the miles. Commitment is a struggle for everyone. It’s both sweet and sometimes bitter. You need to double everything to make them add up for double the miles. For this scenario, I am proud to say that I am on the positive side, optimistically thinking if both sides don’t give up, the boat won’t sink.

In order for the boat not sinking, both sides should be actively (and passionately) working for it. In the scenario, I see both sides did that and will keep doing that. But, what comes to my mind is whether they actively and passionately are doing “something” just purely for survival, or for the right cause? I am in no position to judge and will never try to do that. It’s just a wild thought at night, sneaking in to my mind, which led me to ask the follow up question about how to know how to know how to struggle.

First off, knowing what you struggle about is king. It’s even better if you know already how to solve it. Wait, we are too fast jumping into conclusion of solving. Knowing why behind the what is essential for trying to struggle right.  Following up our scenario above, we are talking about core values, what they believe in, and the compromises. Are core values worthy to be struggled about? Yes, definitely. Why even struggling about something so deeply cored? I don’t know exactly, but pretty sure it’s about compromise. Should we struggle to compromise? It’s getting painful.

By having the right “why”, we could continue struggling with assurance that at least we got the reasons right, and we could be very sure that the right reasons won’t fail us instead. Sometimes, the word “struggling” and “suffering” overlap each other. “Struggle concerns hope in the midst of all kinds moral, societal, and personal uncertainties, whereas suffering identifies a certain despair and anguish, a lostness of the human condition. Struggle is a part of a learning process and as such it is both expected and honored. We witness one another’s struggles and find mutual respect in the process, aware that the end of struggle is a sense of personal achievement. Suffering, by contrast, seems simply to befall us as something to be endured without edification or aim.” Mona Siddiqui wrote on her lectures at The Gifford Lectures.

“I’m doing a great work; I can’t come down. Why should the work come to a standstill just so I can come down to see you?”

Assume we all have our right “whys” and ready to move on struggling. There will be many who will contradict us, be it for the right or wrong reasons. There will be countless of “are you sures” coming our way for our boldness and our conviction. Suddenly, if we give in to them, uncertainties will slowly seeps in and “the wall” we already built will be nothing compared to what others had built. Societies talk in large scale, and it’s not wrong. They won’t just give highlights to one who made only a few, just like the runner-up won’t be noticed on the awarding ceremony. We all want those measures, a big hit. Then we start to compare ourselves to them, and something once regarded “good enough” become “not bad” and worse “not enough”.

“for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

We are good enough for what God has trusted us to do. We all are given desires, ambitions, and wants, and for generations the desire is the basis of human struggle. It requires constant and intimate relationship with God to ensure that the desires and wills won’t fail us instead into the pitfalls of suffering. It requires faith to start something great, to fuel us for the launch, but it requires different kind of faith to stay on something works in process.

No comments:

The Suffering Self and The Desires of Our Hearts : What It Takes to Give Ourselves Up and Getting It Back

 “What makes you, you?” That’s the question I come across tonight, in the eve of the New Year’s Eve. Considering the passing year have been ...