Thank You 2015!

Hello. Everyone should be happy about today. As we enter the end of 2015. For me personally, this year has been great so far (knowing there are still 1 hour left), and life has turned to many directions. And this is what I’ve been following this far, so let’s review what God has led me in 2015.

I’ll begin with the most important area of my life, and that would be my relationship with God. 2015 has led me through many things, and what surprised me the most, is what God has been doing along 2015. I am really grateful for the opportunity, to grow deeper in relationship with Him, experience Him more and more through DATE, Hillsong Conference, and in my daily life afterwards, when I started to be more sensitive. I am really grateful to be baptized this year, since it’s the most important decision I’ve made this far of my life, and I had no regret at all. It’s like everything had been thoroughly planned. In relation to my 2015 resolution, I am really grateful to be disciplined in titheing, and I hadn’t miss one single month this year! I really pray this to continue.

Secondly, I am really grateful for my family. It’s really mesmerizing to see what God has done to my family. Say, my sister got a scholarship in NTU, something we never thought before, studying abroad seemed so far from our priority list. And somehow He gave us this. My father, after endured many months jobless, now finally He’s been given many projects, and we hope for more in the future. My mother, she had lived with burdens, since my sister left to Singapore and with family issues has been going on, and now I’m grateful that she can loose up a little and laugh more now. And myself, hmm.. I got promoted at the office, something I didn’t think about much, but I’m trying to be grateful for that. Yes, I’m grateful for that!

Then, 2015 has been quite harsh on romance. I am still single. I love being single, but sometimes…. It’s not really that lovely. I’ve endured several heartbreaks, let’s not talk about that. I learned a lot, that being realistic is a game everyone plays right now. So, never think on being idealistic, or fantasizing on your romantic life. Let’s try to be grateful right now, since today is about stating gratefulness. I am grateful for lessons learned, since every rejections lead me to new directions, and I’ve learned a lot about being secure instead of being eaten up by insecurities. And 2016, I look forward to new directions, hopefully that one direction.

I’ve been working at EY for 2 years now, going 3. I feel like my motivations going down every morning. Since informed about the WHV program in Aussie, I think my focus has shifted a little more each day. I know it happened to affect my performance at work, but still, I think about it no less. This year has been very bloodspattering on overtime, to be specific. With that same shitty client, the cancelled IPO, and the Bonds offering project on June. Then again, I’m trying to be grateful here, for supportive team members, very understanding managers, and the lessons learned this year. I think my heart gets bigger and bigger every year here.

To sum up, I’ve reviewed all ups and downs happened in 2015, and I’m very grateful to be able to endure another year, getting more mature in life, and what are priceless? The lessons I learned along. Thank you 2015!

Memilih atau Dipilih?

“Life is about choices you make.” Mereka menyapaku ramah setiap kali datang, dan tersenyum sopan setiap kali aku pergi. Konsep datang-pergi inilah yang paling membingungkan, mengapa mereka menyapa waktu datang dan tersenyum waktu pergi? Bukankah seharusnya mereka menangis waktu aku pergi? Aku baru berbelanja di supermarket.

“Life is about choices you make.”, belum juga habis lamunanku. Berkali-kali aku datang, sesering itulah mereka akan tersenyum. Mengapa aku memilih memilih pergi, dan bukannya tinggal? Oh, aku memilih bebas. Bebas datang dan bebas pergi. Itulah yang aku tahu tentang kebebasan, dan selalu kuperjuangkan. Mengapa harus bertahan saat semua buruk? Mengapa harus pergi saat semua baik? Aku menelponnya.

“Life is about choices you make.”, suaranya manis di seberang sana. Aku ingin bebas datang dan pergi. Tanpa kusadari, tiada datang kembali setelah pergi. Klik, kututup teleponnya. Aku menangis.

“Life is about choices you make.”, sekarang aku sadar mengapa harus bertahan saat semua buruk. Terlalu sering buruk yang kuhindari, bukan baik juga yang kuhampiri. Bayangkan dirimu ada di depan dua tungku yang menyala, di sebelah kananmu nasi goreng, di sebelah kirimu, telur mata sapi. “Aku mau nasi goreng pakai telur mata sapi!”, pikirku. Hari itu berakhir dengan nasi goreng yang gosong dan telur mata sapi yang lebih mirip serabi.

“Life is about choices you make.”, tanpa sadar aku termenung cukup lama. Aku banyak belajar dari nasi dan telur yang gosong, bahwa tidak ada yang lebih kosong daripada tidak tahu sama sekali ke mana hidup ini harus diboyong. I choose not to choose, kumatikan semua tungku lalu berdiri diam menghadapi dua  lempengan besi yang menunggu disambar api. Bebas, memilih, datang, pergi, tinggal, pulang. Pikiran itu berkecamuk bersama bayangannya yang kadang hinggap seperti nyamuk. Tidak mau pergi.

“Life is about choices you make.”, ia mengetuk pintu. Ia membawa kompor satu tungku, sepiring nasi putih, dan sebutir telur. Aku tersenyum.

Kebebasan tidak melulu datang bersama pilihan, kadang ia datang sendiri, memilihmu.

Christmas. What I think about it?

There's always something about christmas. The festive season when people celebrate. If you ask me what did they celebrate, I have no idea, all the time.

Some say, we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, with all the happiness He brings to this world, while some other say, it's just the festivities at shopping malls and gorgeous christmas-themed hymns they celebrate. I don't really know.

Series of dinners and gift exchanges, from the first which really is about christmas, which I know nothing about, until the last one that feels like a reunion.

And that's what I love about christmas. It's not the celebration of Jesus' birth or festivities at shopping malls that I love. I think it works as a reminder every year, after series of up and down we survived this year, He gives us another try to define what Christmas is (since we never get it right) and there are still a bunch of people love us the way we are (or the way they remember us from last year's dinner).

Merry christmas! We are loved. Let's love more.

Seen yet Unseen, or See the Unseen?

On a daily basis, we face different situations on our life. So different that we need to take stand for what we think about them, and sometimes what bothers us are whether it’s good or bad, right or wrong, or else. I believe that we all try to see from different perspective, but does it really matter?

The different perspectives can lead us everywhere, from the highest praise to the lowdown of shame. And by choosing perspective, I believe that has something to do with us trusting our mind or our heart, since they are the only options we have, to tell us what’s right and what can be right. You know the difference. And now it will be the contest between heart versus mind. Which one you prefer to follow? Which one enables you to really be seen, not just see? And goes we think.
 

We all know that the most logical way to think is through our mind, and yet that most logical way can’t be applied on all things. And yes, through our heart, everything seems melodramatic, but does it answer questions? Maybe.
 

Based on studies conducted by Nasir Naqvi, Baba Shiv, and Antoine Bechara, “The Role of Emotion in Decision Making: A Cognitive Neuroscience Perspective”, published in the Current Directions in Psychological Science Vol. 5 No. 5, stated that the decision making processes includes not only cognitive processes, but also emotional processes, according to the somatic-marker hypothesis.
 

The hypothesis alone said, “When individuals make decisions, they must assess the incentive value of the choices available to them, using cognitive and emotional processes. When the individuals face complex and conflicting choices, they may be unable to decide using only cognitive processes, which may become overloaded.”
 

This hypothesis was tested using different method, one of them is the “Iowa Gambling Task” method, which tested two kinds of people, normal person and vmPFC (ventromedial prefrontal cortex)¹ damaged person. Both are asked to choose cards from four different decks, which represents different risks and rewards. The results are described below:

1.    Normal person tend to choose from less risky decks, while equally consider the risk-to-reward ratio from all decks, and significantly change mind after experiencing high risk from one deck.
2.    vmPFC damaged person tend to choose always from risky decks, seemingly insensitive to the risks and punishments.
 

The next step, they conducted another test. Now includes the measurement of skin-conductance response (SCR)². The results shown as below:
1.    Normal person elicited higher index of SCR while considering the risky decks, rather than considering the less risky decks.
2.    vmPFC damaged person elicited intact index of SCR while considering both risky or less risky decks, suggesting no emotional impact.
 

Then, after the emotional processes are elicited in the body during the decision making, they are represented in the brain through a sensory process, which we called “gut feelings”.
 

Another studies on functional magnetic resonance imagery (fMRI)³ shows that vmPFC plays a big role in predicting the future rewarding consequences on different behaviors by accessing information about their specific rewarding consequences in the past. On the same study, the fMRI has shown that activity in the insular cortex⁴ is greater during high-risk decision making than it is during low-risk decision making and suggesting that the insular cortex plays a big role in assessing risk and guiding behavior based upon the anticipation of emotional consequences, especially negative emotional consequences.
 

For maybe the elaboration above is unclear, let’s try to put it this way. Say, we are sitting on an math exam. It’s definite that we will think cognitively rather using our emotion to sort the quizzes out. And say, we get our answer for one question, then we check it again, if the answer’s right. Does it feel right? More or less, that’s how we make decision. People with damage is unable to do that, they may get the answer, but unable to answer if it does feel right.
 

On my account, it’s definitely easier said than done. And it may works on you as well. I still think that following my heart is good, or at least giving me good lessons. I believe that nothing comes for free, there are always price to pay, or presents to claim. We may never know until we are actually in it, and to put it in easier terms, it’s the decision to go along or back off, that we need to really think about.
 

It is seen yet unseen, the way we overthink something.
 

It is to see the unseen, the way we throw ourselves away in that something.
 

Sorry for the inconclusive writing. Bye.








Footnotes:
¹ vmPFC (ventromedial prefrontal cortex) : an area of the brain located above the eye sockets.
² skin-conductance response (SCR) : an autonomic index in emotional arousal.
³ functional magnetic resonance imagery (fMRI) : functional neuroimaging procedure using MRI technology that measures brain activity by detecting changes associated with blood flow
⁴ insular cortex : a portion of the cerebral cortex folded deep within the lateral sulcus (the fissure separating the temporal lobe from the parietal and frontal lobes)

, (koma)

Bukan asa yang menggugah rasa
Hanya segurat koma menggantung manja
Menahan pintu ruang seakan bisa
Kesempatan kedua setelah nafas dihela.

Bukan kata yang mengubah makna
Hanya segurat koma menggantung manja
Tak terhitung berapa kali derita
Kala koma menahan akhir cerita

Bukan koma yang mencipta ruang
Hanya hati yang masih ingin berpeluang
Apa arti koma saat Ia berkata titik
Dan apalah titik saat lara masih menitik?

Cahaya

Seberkas mentari menahanmu disini. Kau tahu berapa banyak waktu yang ada, tidak banyak, namun cukup untuk menggelorakan visimu sejenak. Terang itu menyilaukan, sekaligus memabukkan. Ia memanggilmu, menarikmu, dan mengurungmu dalam pikiran itu, pikiran yang diterangi oleh berkas-berkas cahaya yang mengintip di balik terali. Waktumu tidak banyak.

Engkau berlari, mengejar cahaya itu. Tergila-gila kau dibuatnya, entah setengah gila atau sepenuhnya, matamu memandang lurus dan lehermu tidak goyah, dan ayunan langkahmu mantap. Bukan kebetulan, kata orang cahaya itu luar biasa, menghadirkan makna, dan melegakan jiwa. Derap langkahmu makin cepat, mengingat waktumu tak banyak.

Langkahmu terlalu cepat, nafasmu terlalu lambat, dan semangatmu kurang hebat untuk mengimbangi apa yang menghantui kepalamu. Engkau mulai kepayahan, matamu mulai gelap, hingga berkas cahaya itu perlahan hilang. Sesaat muncul pertanyaan di benakmu, “Benarkah ini?”, tanpa kau hiraukan, engkau paksa terus berlari. Waktumu tidak banyak.

Hingga berkas cahaya itu benar-benar hilang, pertanyaan tadi mengetuk lagi, “Apakah ini?”, dan engkau terlalu lelah untuk mengabaikan godaannya, dan engkau jatuh juga. Satu kali, dan engkau kembali bangkit setelah sejenak kau luruskan lagi kakimu dan tekadmu. Cepat, waktu tidak banyak.

Pertanyaan itu datang lagi, kali ini bentuknya berbeda, lebih mirip pernyataan. “Bukan ini!”, katanya. Apa benar ini? tanyamu dalam hati. Kali ini logikamu bergerak, menghitung semua kemungkinan yang ada, setiap titik cahaya yang kau dapati di depan matamu kau analisa. Sial! Bukan yang ini. Lalu engkau jatuh, kedua kali. Kali ini bukan karena kakimu lelah, lebih karena hatimu menyerah. Kalau bukan yang ini, lalu yang mana?

Lehermu yang sebelumnya tegar, kali ini pasrah. Matamu yang sebelumnya cerah, kali ini payah. “Apa lagi?”, tanyamu pada hidup. Tanpa sempat kau dapati jawabnya, kilatan cahaya lain lewat di depanmu, dan hilang begitu saja di ujung labirin. Tentu, bukan itu yang engkau cari, konsistensinya kurang. Sedetik berselang, lewat lagi kilatan tadi, kali ini di belakangmu, yang hanya bisa kau tangkap dari sudut matamu. “Apa yang itu?”, tanyamu lagi, kali ini benar-benar lupa, waktumu tak banyak.

Sejenak dalam gelap membuatmu sadar. Kau dapati secercah sinar, tidak terlalu terang. Kau ikuti sinar itu, ia terus bergerak menjauhimu. Terbiasa oleh kegagalan, engkau diam sebentar. Sinar itu ikut diam, namun tidak memudar. Waktumu mulai menipis, bisa kau rasakan detak jantungmu berdetik. Kali ini harus dapat, katamu dalam hati. Segenap sisa tenagamu dan sedikit sisa hidupmu kau pertaruhkan
semuanya.

Detik terakhir, setelah sekian detik terlewati dengan sia-sia, kau dapati dirimu terjatuh, kepalamu terantuk batu, dan matamu memejam, “Ini akhirnya.”, pikirmu. Namun, kau dapati sinar itu tetap ada, meski matamu terpejam, sambil mengucap doa yang terakhir, dan akhirnya bisa kau yakini bahwa terang tak melulu pasti, dan gelap tak selalu mati. Cahaya itu ada di dalammu, selamanya.

Sweeten Your C̶o̶f̶f̶e̶e̶ Life

Lately, I’ve been so hyped about coffee, of how the latte here is better than there, how to brew it using V60, Cold Drip, Syphon, and any way possible. At first, it was very interesting to hear from my friends that this origin tastes less bittery and more fruity than the other, and how the other tastes more chocolaty than the first one. I really couldn’t wait to get a chance to taste them.

Until one day, my friend came to office with a grin on his face, carrying a flask, and said, “Here! Taste this Wamenans, perfectly extracted! I am using V60.” And his grin was transferred to my face, enthusiastically grabbed the flask and sniffed to the aroma. “Hmm, it’s very good.” I started to drink it, and tried to identify the flavor, based on what he has explained. Suddenly, the grin faded, replaced by a confusing smile, “Hmmm, it’s really good. It’s bitter.” Then my friend’s smile went away too. The next day, he brought another coffee, that time was a home blend from a namely coffee roastery. Then again, his smile went further away.

It’s really hard to see, or taste, the fruity, chocolaty, acidity, papery, woody, nutty, or other taste ended with –ty. I really just noticed the bitterness, and nothing more. Sometimes I tasted them better than the other, but when I told my friend, it’s just the overextraction. Not really helping.

Then I thought about the coffee again. Why it’s so hard to differ the taste of one to another, and why I only noticed the bitterness. Yeah, maybe some said that has to do with my experience with coffee, which I don’t have. I tried to relate with my ability to taste sweets, which I am really good at. Then why?

With respect to all coffee-freaks out there, who are graced enough to embrace the coffee taste, I’d like to refer the sweetness to a goodness, and bitterness to a failure. What I’m gonna say now, it is easier to taste the sweetness of things, rather than the layer of bitterness of things. Let’s dig deeper into this thought.

It’s really easy to taste the sweetness, most likely you’ll ask more of it. Most of the time, the sweetness doesn’t last long, and you need to have more and more, and don’t ever forget about the aftertaste. What first taste sweet, maybe will end bitter, and we never know, right? We are keep going for that until we are overwhelmed, and start looking for anything sweeter than what we identified as sweet before.

Otherwise, we will reject all the bitterness in our life, since we wonder how bitterness always lasts out longer? Even if before it happens, we will say no at first. It is really humane to accept what’s good, and reject what’s bad, works the same with sweetness and bitterness. But, have you ever thought about bitterness to have a sweet aftertaste?

Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

And what we learn from this scriptures, is that the works of God are somehow out of our thoughts, and sometimes wear us off, dry us off of our faith. The sufferings work that way, but if God can produce sufferings, He is also able to produce sweet aftertaste, of hope, which will take us one step higher. And always in the end, all we can say is, “Thank God for leading me this way, I never thought it will come out this good.”

"I am the way.."

John 14:1-6 (KJV)

1 Let not your heart be troubled:ye believe in God, believe also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many mansions:if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. 5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way? 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life:no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

What a beautiful preaching today by Kenny Goh. During the period we bring up Truth as our big theme, he did well interpreting the truth, for the truest truth comes from Jesus and the other truth was fake, and knowing Jesus in person is way more important than pursuing the truth in a ‘How’ structured question.

“Truth is not just a HOW, it’s a WHO.”

That covers exactly every points he planned to explain. Since we tend to look for a structured how-tos, in order to reach our goal, rather than trying to know more about the planner of our life. That too, poked a hole in my mind, since people go to church was all about getting right teachings, simply put, We are going to church for a lessons, which exactly accessible even outside the church. So what’s the point? Going to church should be all about experiencing God, and His great love towards us. So let’s put it together like this, we go to church for the experience of God, not because the preachers.

            John 8:31-32 (KJV)

31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

We need to know first who’s our giver, before we can ask for our needs. Who’ll ask to unknown giver, since there are possibilities that the giver will mislead us. God is the perfect giver. He knows us better than we do, but we don’t know Him as much. We need to get to know God, for His plans are eternal and always for our best. For knowing (by experience with a person) leads to trusting. What a freedom it is to be able to ask freely without hesitations or even insecurities, for we have encountered our mighty giver personally?

Sometimes, we pray to God for the way, how we can succeed in life through every detailed steps we learn, and plan to take. We pray for His blessings, to justified our specified steps, without even bother to ask, “God, what this the way?”. For Jesus has replied the apostles, when they asked the same question, “I am the way.”

We oftentimes got stuck in the life currents, choosing ways after ways, steps after steps, without even considering the REAL way. Then, after we are confident enough, we start to ask God’s approval. He is not just the approval, He is the project manager who knows every details in our hearts. He is the way. Never settle for just bunch of pointless instructions, but settle for the great instructor, for God is our instructor. Keep pushing to know Him better and better, the owner of life, and the creator of plans.

Imagine that you’re on a long flight home, and before the flight, you have the opportunity to meet the pilot, who happens to know you by your name. Then you chat with him, asking about how long the flight will be, how many metres the plane will be above the sea level, and something and something. Wouldn’t you be more relaxed? Would you still care about the millions ‘what ifs’ you have in your mind? That’s the same when you live your life knowing God is in control, you’ll be more relaxed, you can do your best in the natural way God has planned you to do, and let He does the supernatural.

“I am the way, the truth, and the life:no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

God, thank You for your plan over my life, which I believe is above all my thoughts

Thank You for the reminder today, for the life I live is worth surrendered to You
Please God, I need to know You more. Draw me closer to You, God
For I believe that You are the creator of the life, the planner of all plans
Occupy my thoughts, so I can be more like You and You live in me
In Jesus name, Amen.

Whose side is God on?

I’ve been pondering this thought for quite a time now. Having read the Instagram post from Ria (find her @riaangelina2409), talking about favoritism, I think I should dig deeper on this subject. For you guys who are curious about what she said in the post, here I’m going to type it down for you,
 
            “It’s not about whose side God is in but what God’s will and His kingdom have to say.

I was reading a book I truly love that made me tear up pages after pages (willtalkaboutitnexttime). Anyway, sometimes our prayer may contradicts to other people prayer. As an example is some of us want the train to not be late, but others pray that the train is delayed so they can catch the train. So whose prayer will be answered? And if yours or his is not answered; it doesn’t mean that you are not better because God does not play favouritism. But what is God’s will upon that situation. Sometimes early is good but sometimes delay is beautiful as well. What we need to understand at every situation is what is God have to say about it.

Like in the case of Joshua when seeing a man with a sword and he asked whose side are you on? The army said “No, but I am God’s commander army.” This simply said; it’s not which side I am on, but it’s what God’s kingdom said I will do J Have a blessed Godly kingdom day!!”

After doing some casual research on the internet, I found the story of Cain and Abel interesting, for that story really represents God’s favoritism. But does God play favorites?    

Genesis 4:1-12 (NIV)

1 Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

10 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”

What if God was one of us?

Just imagine, if you were Cain, wouldn’t you be angry? I surely would, why on earth my hardwork is not appreciated, since I’ve been putting on my all? Then again, I think about that in the work situation. If your boss said, “I don’t like what you did, I like the way he’s doing it.” Would you just grab your knife and stab your coworker? I thought about maturity, in processing all inputs we got from outside. We have to be able to filter all the informations, whether it’s true or false, based on kindness or hatred, and so on, so on.

Back to the story, I wonder why Abel’s offering is more favorable in God’s eyes, rather than Cain’s? As I search through the internet, I found that Cain was the first person to have offered a sacrifice to God, before any rules had been laid out about proper and improper sacrifices. Along the verses above, in the verse 3 stated that, “In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord.” and in the verse 4, stated that, “And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock.” It’s not that Abel offered animals, and Cain offered fruits, which make God chose one and reject the other. If we read deeper into those verses, Cain’s offering sounds ordinary, rather than Abel’s which sounds lavish! Notice that Abel brought from the firstborn of his sheep, which Cain never reported about bringing his first-fruits of the ground.

From that story above, we noticed that Abel put God first, while Cain didn’t. So, God accepts offering from the fullness of gratitude, rather than from half-hearted effort.

What if God wasn’t one of us?

1 Samuel: 16-7 (NET)

“God does not view things the way men do. People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

If God is really all-knowing and infinitely wise, so He wouldn’t be playing favorites, between Cain and Abel. Furthermore, God loves us equally, saints or sinners. With that in mind, let’s think again about why Cain’s offering were rejected, but Abel’s accepted? It’s about the heart.

            Micah 6:6-8 (NET)

“With what should I enter the Lord’s presence? With what should I bow before the sovereign God? Should I enter his presence with burnt offerings, with year-old calves? Will the Lord accept a thousand rams, or ten thousand streams of olive oil? Should I give him my firstborn child as payment for my rebellion, my offspring -my own flesh and blood- for my sin? He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord really wants from you: He wants you to promote justice, to be faithful, and to live obediently before your God.”

The book of Hebrews writes this way about Abel,

            Hebrews 11:4 (NET) 

“By faith Abel offered God a greater sacrifice than Cain, and through his faith he was commended as righteous, because God commended him for his offerings. And through his faith he still speaks, though he is dead.”     

And this verse tells about Cain,

1 John 3:12 (NET)

“not like Cain who was of the evil one and brutally murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his deeds were evil, but his brother’s were righteous.”

From those verses, we can easily point out the difference. Apart from the Cain’s offering was half-hearted, and Abel’s was full of gratitude, we can see that Abel offered to God from the deepest of his heart, and by faith, while Cain offered to God from the heart that was initially evil, showing the self-pitiness and jealousy.

Most of us show our self-pity when seeing others are blissfully blessed, and we often show our insecurity from that situation. Just be sure, that when God doesn’t answer our prayers, that means he doesn’t do it yet. For His plans are bigger than ours, and His thoughts are wilder than ours. We are made uniquely different to each other, that’s why God needs to customize our needs, and everything in His timing. God rewards faith, compassion, and wholeheartedness when we are nearing Him. We sometimes need to keep our eyes off of people to see that God is good for us, because other people may see Him differently, but the ending still the same. It’s unending. His love.