Ouch, Don't Scratch the Itch

The main idea of these paragraphs comes from what my mom usually said when I or my sister got bug-bite on our skin. She would say, “Jangan digaruk!” which literally translated to “Don’t scratch!” We often ignored what she said and kept scratching our skin until the redness from the itch turned into a scar and bled from it, and that happened more than twice, certainly said. What was wrong with scratching our bug-bitten skin? It’s the most effective way to get rid of the itchy feeling, and probably that’s the only way, wasn’t it?

Well, it took me years to realize what my mom said had much deeper truth than what it sounded like. It’s not just because she didn’t want our skin to be smudged, nor had she believed highly in essential oils. Scratching our skin is temporary, and rubbing our skin with essential oils is eternal. Confusing enough? Let’s get deeper into this.

We all need something bigger or stronger to precede our situation. In above case, we need something to overcome the itchy feeling. By scratching our skin, we fulfilled the need of something stronger, pain precedes itch. Let’s try something out here; I want you to scratch your skin, do it gently for a minute. What do you feel? Scratchy? I am pretty sure you scratch in a much lower intensity compared to how you scratch your itchy skin. Why did we feel good by scratching itchy skin? Because by scratching the itchy skin, we introduced pain into our sense, and pain is strong, way much stronger than what itches could do. We always need something bigger than what we had to have it overcome.

Everything has a scale to measure itself. Itches could be mild or severe, so is pain. Mild itches could be overcome by only mild pain; severe itches need severe pain, and so on. Once itches had been overcome by pain, what do you think will remain?

I think by now we all have understood the context. Itches are our life situation, and we have to choose which way to go for a solution. Are we going for something temporary, or something eternal? And I am sure by now we all agree to not scratching itchy skin, instead we’re going to ask Mom for essential oil. Essential oils for the win!

Yet, one rub of essential oils wouldn’t make any difference. It required commitment, to rub frequently for three days or even a week. Commitment builds good habit, and good habit will be a good foundation of better life (and it could be your long-searched solution as well).

Colossians 3:2 - “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Set your minds on things that are eternal, not on something temporary. Temporary things seem more practical and more hands-on, compared to eternal things which seem small and ineffective at times. The Apostle Paul knows exactly what we would think of it, and on different occasion, he said:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 – “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Another highlight he put on fixing/setting our minds to something above/eternal, now with further explanation to it. What he refers to “light and momentary troubles”, we might refer that to our situation, which might be nowhere near “light and momentary”. Do we believe that our situation could achieve us an eternal glory? He’s stressing about what foundation our life is built upon based on what we focus on.

Life is uncertain. Problems come and go. There’s a beautiful words in Japanese, “Mono no aware” which means “the bittersweet poignancy of things.” It boils down to our point of view of different things, as life changes and problems coming and resolving. It’s all about how strong our foundation and our commitment, which will achieve us eternal glory.

The Melbourne in Us

It is almost midnight here in Kew, the suburban area of Melbourne, Australia. As I am typing this, I am thinking about going home, which is going to happen very soon. At the same time, the feeling of leaving Melbourne haunts me all the time. The closer I am getting to departure, the more clouds are coming my way, promising rain as I am pretty sure they will leave eventually.

I can start recollecting now, from the first day until now, and I can predict quite accurately what is going to happen on the last day. I came here on August last year, which was the start of spring, and right now is winter. The changing of the seasons, the things they brought and they left, and how people adjust their life based on the current season.

The spring comes with the hope, as the flowers and trees spring, and leaves in beautiful fashion. The summer comes with excitement, trying to exceed the one spring left. Is summer even capable of doing that? Before we can even think about the answer to that, the fall comes along with thundering answer we didn’t even think of. Then, the winter does. We are deeply fucked.

I start to think, with the uncertainty Melbourne weather has to offer, how people still be able to compensate the storm after sunshine all day, and the other way around? It is not predictable in any way, yet nobody complains about that. Amazing, isn’t it?

We never know what the future holds, will it be rainy tomorrow? Should I bring my sunnies or umbrella? I am not going to bring both, how insecure am I that people would know my inside without me letting them in. Also I don’t want to be weighed down with something I wouldn’t use. Wait, what time is it? Fuck, I’m late.

Well, am I good? Am I bad? Am I in the good side of bad or bad side of good? We keep asking without even knowing the answer. Well, I am good, no doubt about that. Am I really? Well, I’m going to bring my sunnies out. Oh, will it rain today?

It is the uncertainty keeps us alive, keeps us who we are. It is the Melbourne in us.

Bittersweet is us.

Kew, Victoria

Twenty-eighth of July 2017.

11.23PM

Share the Seeds

People don’t share the seeds, they always share the fruits.

People try to figure out life for themselves, then if they manage to succeed, then maybe they’ll share.

What’s the meaning of life? Don’t they know?

Salute to people brave enough to include others in their search.

For the sake of life itself, it’s never about you alone, it’s about us society.

Shape up or be shaped? Be influenced or to influence?

People watching from around the world, asking you questions, like you got it all figured out.

What’s the meaning of life? But you’re only 20. You don’t know shit.

You don’t. You’re still in the search.

You have the seeds, find the best soil to plant, and grow tall.

The taller you are, the stronger the wind will be.

The more happiness you share, the more questions you get,

What’s the meaning of life? And you’re only 20. You do know shit.

Or at least you know how to share.

You know how to share the seeds.

O ye of little faith!

What’s not to worry? Out of all things on earth, there’s not even one thing liberated from uncertainty. Whether the traffic will be bad, the sun will hide, your partner cheated, you mess up at work, your boss messes up, your ex will call, and the list goes on. Are we wrong for being uncertain? There are always two sides of a coin. Toss a coin and you will understand, how uncertain is it for us to say “Head”, while the coin still floats in the air. We used to hold breath, probably thinking of all possibilities while our eyes locked to the flying coin. Uncertainty holds us to be doubtful.

We spend time in doubt, worrying, or intelligently said “juggling our options”. Uncertainty is deeply related to impermanence. While we all expect everything we succeeded in will stay the same, that’s when the fear or the realm of impermanence strikes in. The good thing is that we can expect everything we struggled about will change. The impermanence will always strikes in. “Anicca”, the word originates from Pali language, which means “Impermanence” describes that everything is in transience. It’s actually one of the three marks of existence in Buddhism. We never know how every situation would turn out.

Rupert Gethin once wrote in his book The Foundation of Buddhism, 

“As long as there is attachment to things that are unstable, unreliable, changing and impermanent, there will be suffering – when they change, when they cease to be what we want them to be. (…) If craving is the cause of suffering, then the cessation of suffering will surely follow from 'the complete fading away and ceasing of that very craving': its abandoning, relinquishing, releasing, letting go.”

We will never be satisfied with everything. If we are aware about the fact that everything is impermanent, maybe it will lift a handful of our burdens. Should we never settle for everything, then, for nothing is permanent? Or should we settle, with heart and mind guarded with the anticipation of losing? 

The Japanese were known for their philosophical life and how they deal with such things as impermanence is really insightful for us. The terms "Mono no aware" is literally translated to “the pathos of things”, which, if freely translated will completely describe the fullness of meaning they have. Instead of assuming the worst of everything, negatively said, they tell us to be aware of the transience of things, and heightens our appreciation towards things, while manages to allowing gentle sadness on their passing.

On a personal note, I want to try to relate the above description according to Buddhism and how the Japanese applied in their everyday life with how Christians live, without any bad sentiment of comparing between the two.

Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

The main idea the two both share is “letting go”, which has been the generally accepted solution to the problem caused by uncertainty and impermanence, which reproduces a state of being worry. If we keep ahold on something so uncertain, without any good foundation on why are we doing that, we will be worn out and deteriorated from the rust of worries. The Bible tries to confront us with the irrelevant comparison between ourselves and the birds of the air (v.26) and the flowers of the field (v.28). It’s irrelevant because how could anybody compare the creation that created according to His image (ourselves), with the creations which created to be subdued by His image (the birds and flowers)? 

Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Letting go requires an active approach, rather than just passively wait and do nothing. As we being aware of the transience of things and heightens our appreciation of things, we keep being still and know, that there is God above who listens and answers our prayers, and heightens our faithfulness towards the work of His hand, which are undone in us.

Do not worry, O ye of little faith!