There's nothing for nothing

I remember the time I tendered my resignation to my current employer. It was the day when the sun shone the brightest, and the setting sun saluted me on my way home. Truly, it was the best day I've ever had since I signed their offering letter. I still can recall that moment perfectly, word by word I said, with me smiling from ear to ear. That day, after a long and hard consideration, was the resolve of my problem of thinking about the purpose of my life. I always admire people who work in creating things, who can make impact towards the society they are in. Please, I wouldn't be angry if you said we can make impact in everything we do. There's no denying that in theory, but in practice I didn't really think so. My two cents.

I know many people who had fought a really good and fair fight, but still lost. I would easily tell them to quit, because it's the easy way out. You tried your best and you failed, that must be because that something wasn't for you. I used to feel sorry for them, they had given everything, fought until the end, worked the hardest, cried the least, or even bled out the most, but still managed to achieve nothing. It's a waste of time. If only we could be wise enough to pick out the right fights to fight, the right person to love, the right job to give ourselves into, or the commitment to commit into. Life would be easy, then.

We couldn't always choose our way with a perfect sanity, especially when someone/something presented itself in front of us, making it to be a perfect destiny to us. We were careless enough to take it on, wore it to our senses, or even dedicated ourselves into something seemed so clear, yet very vague. Was it our false beliefs in play? What would they produce, if not only to waste our time?

Something we were super sure about, to be something we regretted. It must took a long road of reasoning. We are the creatures of thinking, that's the part of our evolution. Thoughts evolve, for better or for worse. Descartes had done his part in explaining this to a good measure. We will have our own perceptions, our undisputed beliefs, for something we learned in our life. We would answer without doubt and without even think of it, that 1+1=2. Up to this point, I wouldn't say that 1+1=3, that would be the end of the world. That was the simplest case of math, everyone knows that, or at least everyone agrees on that. Descartes' methodical doubt requires us to always negate our thoughts, our convictions, and our knowledge in order to juice out the truest of convictions, knowledge, or truths.

We are the creatures of thinking, yet we ignored our contrasting thought for the easy way. We pulled ourselves out of thinking, hoping that everything would turn out alright eventually. When it didn't, we complained and had no one to blame but ourselves. We would think to ourselves that we did everything we did for nothing.

The road of reasoning might be uphill, and we might have already burst ourselves into scatters of nothingness before we found what's behind it. If you think you are in this position, well I think you're in the right place, just as I am here typing this for the exactly same reason, bursting out. 

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

If I may be allowed to combine these two powerful verses, it would be;

"God works for the good of those who love Him, in His own time not ours, and we may not know what He's doing in our life."

We don't understand God's timing. God is good all the time and only because God is good and God is with us and love us all the time, our life therefore will be good.

We were all once burnt out in our journey, thinking that we wasted our time by doing the wrong kind of things, loving the wrong person, fighting for the wrong fights, which got us nowhere. We ignored that when we are the creatures of thinking, we are also the creatures of learning. We learn when we fail, and by the lessons we had learned, they changed our perspective towards things. 

Let's try to be resilient in our journey, for the journeys and everything they have to offer shape us as a person. Let's keep collecting pebbles of wisdom and truth to fuel us towards our destination.

Don't budge only because we make wrong choices, keep ourselves standing strong in faith that the best is yet to come, and there is nothing for nothing.

Chip in

When I was in Uni, photography had taken more than half of my life. The way I perceived it was very clear, I wanted photography to be part of my future. Passion comes with a price, just like every hobbies the world will know. The desire to buy new lenses, accessories, memory cards, bags, straps, and countless things under 'tech' section on web store, it knocked my door everyday.

I needed to distinguish which one I really need and which ones were only just happy pills. Then, I came into realization that I might need a new lens. And just like every other Uni students I knew, I started saving up, with THE goal in mind. I set my mind to it, and placed a deadline to it. I wanted to make the purchase at one of the annual photography expo, because I knew I could get good price there.

Then came the day of the expo. It was cheaper than I expected, but checked back to my savings, there's no way I could do that at that time. Burdened by the desire, I went to my dad and asked, "please chip in, I need only xx amount to make it." He did, and I made the purchase. I was happy, actually very happy.

How I went on with that, "I bought this myself saving up, yes my dad chipped in." Like it was the smallest thing someone's ever done to me. It struck me recently, how I responded to it and it left me ashamed. Really ashamed of myself.

It all comes down to how we value things. How we couldn't value small gifts/victories comes from our self-realization that we already own our game, ONLY need small things to perfect it. It doesn't only undermines people, but also God. We often try to understand Him however we like it. We ask him from our position that we already have something, and only need God to chip in. Then we would go on, "I did this on my own, yes God chipped in."

We will value what we are grateful for. We are not wired to value nothingness, it doesn't add up. Our value system were built on what we have, and if something adds up, then come in, if it subtracts, then go away.

We were confident in our strength, and when waves hit or lacks crept in, we started looking for solutions. We went to God. Then we started asking, "God please, I only need these amount, nothing more, I don't ask much".  It's not much, so we took it for granted. We undermined God to our standard, while He's all powerful and all knowing.

Ephesians 2:7‭-‬10 MSG

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

Dwell in His embrace. Celebrate small victories. Let Him be in the driver's seat, and enjoy the ride of gratitude like never before.